Sunday, October 31, 2010

“Because We Actually Went American High School!” - Me

I hope you aren’t reading this post and thinking that it’s going to be Halloween related. Sorry to disappoint, but I am giving you an advanced warning. We’re still on last weekend people…

Since my first paper for my film class was due on Wednesday last week, I tried rather unsuccessfully to lock myself in my room and write until all of my homework was completed. That weekend was probably the most boring weekend I’ve ever spent in London, consisting of nothing more than sleep, TV watching, and attempts at writing. The only highlight was going out to see a movie with Laura and Matt on Saturday night. We saw, Easy A, which if you haven’t seen, is highly entertaining. There are many differences between London and America, but the movie going experience, something I value greatly, was almost the same. I say almost because they got a few key ingredients wrong.

Number One, hot buttery popcorn is not a concept known to the Brits. They offer both salty and toffee popcorn at the theatre, but when we asked if they had a butter flavor or better yet, a pump of butter on the side so we can add as much greasy deliciousness till our hearts exploded, they looked at us like we were crazy. As if no one ever thought that adding butter to salted popcorn would be amazing. This explains how when I bought microwave popcorn over here, they had separate salted and butter flavors. I just don’t understand why these things just aren’t automatically mixed! Number Two, stadium seating has not been thought necessary when you have a big screen. While this is WRONG, I lucked out this time by not having a tall person sit in front of me. Number Three, there are no ‘pre-flix’ slides or annoying reels before the movie starts, but once it does, they have about 5-10 minutes of plain commercials followed by 5-10 minutes of trailers. About the same as in the States I guess, but it just felt like foreverrrr over here. Number Four, and my personal favorite, they don’t have the G, PG, PG-13, R, NC-17 system, they have a completely different system all together. Before the movie starts, they have a slide come up that has four signatures of important high up people saying that they approve this movie, it has a BBFC stamp, and then what age and up can view this as devised by the British Board of Film Classification. Turns out PG-13 roughly translates to 12. Huh, interesting… Is it sad I find this slide intriguing and curious and did more research on this topic? They have six classifications as well but theirs are, U: suitable for all, PG: Parental Guidance 12A/12: Not suitable for someone under 12 without Parental Guidance, 15: Suitable only for 15 years or over 18: suitable only for adults and R18: only shown in specially licensed cinemas (like NC-17 basically)

The best part of the movie was the fact that for the first time in my life, I was apart of those loud people in the theater. Seriously, why were the British people not laughing? If they were, Matt, Laura and I overpowered them easily. After one particularly funny scene, Laura turned to me and asked why we were the only ones laughing. “Because we actually went to American high school!” After seeing all the British school kids parade around town after 5 during the week, you can tell there are some obvious differences in school behavior. I guess that’s why I’ve been asked several times if our schooling is just like it is in the movies. (My favorite is their obsession with American College life, haha) Not exactly, but closer than y’alls will ever be.

Monday I got to stay at work for the entire day due to the fact that my film class wasn’t meeting because of our paper. Ben thought was skipping at first, but fear not, I legitimately didn’t have class. That day was extremely important as Ben and Josh were going to BBC 3 to Pitch ‘The Best’ so naturally, they weren’t really there for the better part of the day. Who do they put in charge of us interns, but Wicksey who gives us a survey to fill out entitled “I AM VERY SORRY” with all caps and everything. Our survey was really more of a ‘come up with an idea for X/what’s your favorite thing that’s been done with Y’ type of thing. Haha, turns out the Brits are looking for TV shows centered around food. Well now, being an American and having a whole TV channel dedicated to food, it’s hard for me to come up with a concept that hasn’t already been done in some form or fashion. But apparently, Wicksey didn’t know we had a food channel. He thought it was absurd and thought the whole channel was nothing more than people standing up and cooking. When I started talking about shows like “Ace of Cakes” that confused him even more. “So they bake a cake every week? And you see the process?” Oh dear, how do you explain? Worse yet is when I tried to show him clips to let the show explain itself, all of the footage is copyrighted and won’t play due to the fact that we’re in a different country.

When he asked for a fusion between game and reality show, I asked him if he meant something like “Cash Cab” to which I got a very puzzled look. You don’t have Cash Cab? You don’t even know what Cash Cab is? That I was able to youtube and he was amazed by the idea and started asking me all these questions like “did he memorize all those questions or is he reading something” and “how many cameras did they use for this” and “what happens if someone gets in and they’re in a hurry and don’t want to play?” I don’t work on the show, Ben Wicks, just watch the clip and be amazed!

When I showed up to work the following day, we started off with a breakfast meeting at Jack’s, the café down the street. Well this was different. Josh was teasing me again, but this time about the menu:

JOSH: I think I’m going to get the Yankee.

ME: Just the Yankee? Not the Yankee Doodle Dandy?

JOSH: I don’t want the Doodle Dandy, it’s too much food. I just want the Yankee. Does that offend you?

ME: No, because a ‘yankee’ is something different in the States, specially if you’re from the South.

JOSH: I’ve heard that. What does it mean?

ME: Well a ‘yankee’ is a word that people in the south like to use to describe a Northerner. But it’s derogatory. You kinda only use it when you’re making fun of someone.

JOSH: So I shouldn’t say you’re a real yank?

ME: No.

JOSH: Ok, yankee.

I give up. We ended up discussing and finalizing the layout of the Blah show, but this lead me to two conclusions. 1.) The final layout was what I was imagining the whole time and I guess I should have made my opinion clearer, thus solving the ‘problem’ sooner and propelling me to good intern status but I was confused as to what they were originally imagining because of reason number 2.) The Brits love panel shows! I was explaining this later realization to Wicksey later on who agreed with my wisdomosity.

The Brits eat up panel shows like we eat up talk shows. For some reason, our version of talk shows by giving someone a few comfy chairs/couches and asking them to interview someone famous compiled with a musical interlude from another guest and little quirky scenes doesn’t work over here. But you give these people four celebrities in a room and make them talk about random stuff and they want more! Can you remember the last surviving successful panel show in American TV History? Wasn’t it Hollywood Squares from the 1970s? (and don’t you dare mention that crappy one that came out last season called Marriage Ref.) I find it utterly fascinating that the two shows just don’t jive well with the opposite audience. Wicksey agreed with British sigma of the silliness of American talk shows, and while I agree we have too many, they’re funny! Conan on the Tonight Show? Ellen? And who doesn’t love to watch Oprah’s favorite things? That’s the best show she puts out all year! But this is from a man whos entire Producing career comes from generating British Panel shows. It’s baffling. I just don’t get it. But I’d love to study this! Can I create my own class??

I left work at 2 as usual but with the notion that I’d see everyone in just a few hours. That’s right, Tuesday we went on a Work Outing! About two weeks ago, Ben asked if I was doing anything on a Tuesday evenig. While somewhat creepy, I couldn’t honestly say that I was, but he still wouldn’t tell me what we were doing. All I knew was that we were going to see some show on the Southbank to get development ideas. Pshh, I’m in! All I have to do is sit through this stupid intern class and write the second half of my paper first. I highly considered skipping this class to write, and part of me wishes I did. We spent the whole time writing goals. Can you believe this? I’m 20 years old and having a class on goal setting. I think I know how to do this. You could have just said go write some goals and explain them instead of wasting and hour and half of my life talking about how to set goals and the reason we need them. So instead I wrote my goals in about 10 minutes and chatted with J about Halloween and Thanksgiving plans.

Turns out the show we’re going to is called La Soiree. When I looked it up online, it said it’s located in a tent set up behind the National Theatre. Oh that’s helpful. So off I go to find the group and several phone calls with Mr. Ben Crompton later, I find him, Wicksey, Sarah, and Georgie enjoying the last of their sushi at a restaurant down the street. Next thing I know Ben has placed a beer in front of me and Wicksey and I are in a conversation about couples. The couple sitting next to us were obviously not in a very loving mood and acting all icily towards each other. This lead to a ‘how’s your girlfriend/ my friend and his crazy girlfriend/ I once dated this girl’ type of talk. Haha, the more I talk to Wicksey, the more I like him. Shortly after that, Josh showed up and we made our way to find Paul and the big tent.

This show was unlike anything I’d seen live before. It’s like a mini Cirque de Soleil, but less weird and much smaller. Still all the same, I loved it. There was a man named Captain Frodo who was a contortionist and who every time he tried to get his body to bend some other way, I hid myself in Georgie saying ‘I don’t want to watch. I don’t want to watch’ while really kind of watching. The whole time Georgie’s just kinda patting my head saying, ‘Yes, it’s quite scary, isn’t it?’ There was also this crazy hoola-hoop lady on roller skates which was quite cool. And then there were the ‘English Gents’ who come up on stage dressed in suits with bowler hats and umbrellas and end up doing ridiculous balancing acts with each other (and when they’re done, they rip off their clothes to reveal Union Jack undies, haha). The best bit though was a man named David O’Mer aka ‘Bath Boy’ who literally sits in a bathtub full of water and then does all these ridiculous acrobatic aerial stunts on these ribbons hanging from the ceiling. Of course he’s incredibly fit and drenched in water and you know all the women in the audience were just drooling. Ben was sitting there whispering, “I feel a bit gay. Oi, no I don’t, look at Josh!” And then we turned to look at Josh, who’s mesmerized by the whole thing and can’t take his eyes off the man. Hahaha, love it. After the show, they had these booklets set out on a table and I caught Ben taking more than one. I just snuck up behind him and said “Go ahead and take more, it’s the American way!” Well, he thought it was funny.

As we were walking towards Waterloo, Josh wouldn’t hush up about his upcoming ‘Holiday’. Apparently he needed to use up all of his vacation time before Christmas so he’s going to Barcelona for his friend’s 30th birthday. He also laughed at me when I wished him a fun vacation.

JOSH: Did you just say vay-ca-tion?

ME: Oh sorry *puts on fake accent* Holiday. You know, you’re gonna miss me when I leave, you’re going to have no one to tease.

JOSH: Sure I will, I’ll have Sarah.

SARAH: Oh, shut up.

As I was asking him if he had his lispy Spanish accent all ready for Barcelona, this lead to a ‘you must know how to speak Spanish’ conversation. Umm, no, no I do not, but I can understand everything y’all are trying to say. This also reminded me of Dia de Los Muertos, something I’m sure the British and (probably even the Spaniards since it’s a Mexican holiday, right?) do not celebrate. I asked Josh to bring me some Pan Dulce or Pan de Muerto but he just gave me a weird look. Yeah, I guess I’m going to have to explain that one too…

Love,

A-really-could-go-for-some-Pan-de-Muerto-now-Devon

Friday, October 29, 2010

“This Must Be Incredibly Frustrating For You” – Bald Teacher Guy

Hello again! Remember that time I went away for a weekend and didn’t blog and then the whole thing fell apart? And then I had my first paper for class due and decided to do my homework for once? Yeah… Well the paper has since been turned in, the sleep has been somewhat caught up on, and the blog is about to be put together once more.

On Tuesday (yeah, as in October 19th) when I came into work, Super Star Sarah had compiled a list of what they discussed at the end of the meeting yesterday and we were supposed to do a little more research and look more deeply into them. Okie dokie. As I’m zoning out on my computer it takes me a minute to realize that Josh is trying to get my attention. He starts asking me if ‘I’m in’ and I have no idea what he’s talking about. “You should really check your e-mail,” is all he says. Hmm intriguing. I will take that challenge! Turns out Josh has sent me the dates of another BBC shoot (which takes place on a weekend) and asked if I wanted to come help out as his PA. I didn’t even reach the end of the e-mail before I swiveled in my chair and yelled, “YES!” at him across the room. I should have really read the all of it first because he ended it with, “So what do you say… Partner?” I just started laughing. The only person in Texas who says ‘partner’ is my nephew’s Woody doll. Oi, Josh. If only you knew what it’s really like there. Cut to me swiveling around again:

ME: So Josh, you’re the producer on these, right?

JOSH: Yup

ME: So you’re gonna be like the boss on set? These are gonna be your babies?

JOSH: Yup, so you better behave!

ME: Psh, wha-

JOSH: I don’t want any of your sass on set.

ME: I’m not sassy!

JOSH: Keep it at home.

ME: Oh, shut up

JOSH: Did you just tell me to shut up?

ME: No

JOSH: I think you did.

ME: Maybe. And who says ‘partner’ in Texas! No one does! No one says ‘partner’ Josh!

JOSH: Sure they do. *puts on American accent* ‘What do you say, part-narr’

ME: No one sounds like that!

So Josh may be slightly delusional in his Texan ways and I may be labeled as sassy, but I get to go on a shoot! A BBC shoot no less! Haha, yes! Take that research! Now I just hope I can impress Josh with my talented PA skills. And for the record, I’m quite well behaved on sets. The rest of the day Ben had me writing descriptions for the challenges in our latest show, ‘The Best’. This one was thought up before I got here and they already shot a little demo and put together a little 5 min teaser trailer. (It’s hilarious, that’s all I can tell you.) Before I knew it, it was lunchtime and then I had to leave.

Oh my lanta, this internship class. I just can’t get over how disorganized this class is and yet they wonder why we’re confused and angry. Maybe if you got your stuff together and presented it to us in a clear fashion you wouldn’t be having revolts in your classroom lady! This week was particularly interesting because in the afternoon section of this class, we’re split into two groups and Xanthy teaches one group and this other woman who’s name I don’t know teaches our class. The previous week, they gave us homework to read over for this week, but oops, guess what? They assigned the homework differently and thus this week, Xanthy had a small problem, which could have been easily solved, but turned into a huge clustercuss in a matter of minutes. I just don’t know how much more I can sit through that class without tearing my hair out.

During out break, I went back to my dorm and found my mummsies care package made it’s way to my dorm at last! Yayayayayay. Not only did she send me food and snacks, but more lactose pills (necessary) and even a present for who else, but Josh. She wrote, “I enclose a small calendar for Josh so he can see some photos of Texas and have a better idea of the Lone Star State.” Bahaha! Cheers, momma, this is exactly what I needed.

As I was headed back to class, I ran into Nick who had some rather exciting news. Turns out last weekend was a good time to disappear. Apparently, Anthony the 45 year old man got into a fight with two of the girls on our floor. I don’t know exactly what happened, but the general jist is that he made some inappropriate comments, the girls retaliated, and Nick was dragged into their argument by Anthony. The next morning the girls had called their parents, the parents called their homeschool, their homeschool called Westminster and Anthony, the 45 year old man is being relocated to a new floor. While I feel somewhat bad for Anthony, I can’t help but feel somewhat relieved that I don’t have to put up with him complaining about Westminster compared to Cambridge and awkwardness of having a middle aged man in a college setting anymore.

The second half of this class is the only part I feel is somewhat useful as that’s when we apply the theory to our lives and get to talk about what we’re doing in out internships. But all the same, it’s still pretty boring. After plotting my successes and failures on a timeline to see my accomplishments I came back home to make dinner. Sure enough, while I was in the kitchen, who walked in but Angry Anthony. This time, he didn’t even say hi to me or even acknowledge my presence. He just came in, slammed things around a bit and left. Oooooh, I guess what Nick said was true. I spent the night finishing An Affair to Remember and catching up on Mad Men, which sadly, this was the season finale. And oh my lanta! I’m still baffled by the way it ended! These are the times I wish I was surrounded by people who watched American TV!!!

When I walked into work on Wednesday, I was very excited to see how Josh would like his calendar. As I joined him in the kitchen for tea, it was him who started the conversation first. Before I transcribe what went down, let me first preface this by explaining that he was wearing this v-neck white sweater with blue trim that looked like it belonged on the tennis courts. Ahem:

JOSH: Devon, I didn’t see you at the match last night.

ME: What match?

JOSH: The Arsnal game.

ME: Well the thing about Arsnal is, they’re always trying to walk it in.

JOSH: Do you like football? And don’t even call it soccer!

ME: Did the word soccer come out of my mouth? No, you brought it up. And yeah, I like football. I watched the World Cup! But I really want to go to game while I’m here.

JOSH: Well you should. We’ll go sometime.

ME: Yeah? Ok! Soo, are you going to play tennis after work or something?

JOSH: No, cricket. Tonight’s our first match of the season.

ME: Really?? You play cricket?

JOSH: No, Devon. You’re too easy you know. You’re innocence gets you every time.

ME: Well excuse me for not knowing everything about your English ways! Oh hey, that reminds me! My momma sent me a package yesterday and she gave me something to give to you. *produces calendar* It’s a calendar! And look what the picture is for October.

JOSH: The Alamo!

ME: Yup, that’s where I’m from, San Antonio.

JOSH: *starts flipping through the calendar* Oh, look cows, that’s very Texan. Oohh the desert, is that what El Paso really looks like? And pretty blue flowers!

ME: Oh Bluebonnets! That’s a very Texan thing to go get your picture taken in a field of bluebonnets.

JOSH: What city’s skyline is this? Dallas. Wow, that’s a really ugly city.

ME: Well I don’t really like Dallas so-

JOSH: This one’s ugly too. Oh, it’s San Antonio.

ME: Hey! In all fairness, that’s a really bad picture! It doesn’t even have the Tower of Americas in it! That’s like our crowning jewel on our skyline!

JOSH: Hey, don’t get all mad at me because Texas is good at building shit skylines.

ME: Heyy!

BEN: Devon, where are all our presents?

ME: I dunno, I’m sorry. She sent this specifically for Josh, look. *pulls out letter* It says it’s for Josh.

JOSH: Well this is pretty cool. Tell your mom thank you very much and that it’s a hoot.

ME: See, it’s not so bad I write about you after all, huh?

So Josh liked his calendar and it’s currently still sitting propped up on his desk. How much of this is for practical purposes and how much of it is because he likes to look at pictures of cows and “shit skylines” is anyone’s guess. The rest of the day was rather uneventful. I can’t even really tell you what I did. I just remember being busy. When I got home that night I was rudely interrupted by a fire alarm. It’s 8:30 at night and I’m attempting to write an outline for a paper, please tell me we’re not going to be forced to stand outside all night because someone burned toast. Nope, turns out it was only for 20 minutes and it was because some girl took a shower and left her door closed. (I guess it happens to other people besides you after all Caroline.) We did have to wait till some Fire men came in to check it out though.

Thursday was the most horrible experience I’ve had in a museum yet. Our Art and Society class is so large that when we go on these field trips, we’re usually split up into three groups and the module leader, Peter, and his two assistants each take a group. Peter is one of my favorite professors. Not only does he really know what he’s talking about, but he provokes thought in what he’s saying. He makes me think about the pieces and I feel like I’m truly learning. Love this man. I wish I could say the same for his two assistants.

One is bald man who has no idea what he’s doing anywhere we go and the other is this young woman who has an incredibly thick accent and you have no idea what she’s saying anyways. Usually I’ve been pretty successful at worming my way into Peter’s group when he splits us up, but this week I wasn’t so lucky and I got the bald man. Urggh. That week we went to the National Gallery which is located in Trafalgar’s Square and doesn’t allow photography. (I tried to sneak a few, but it was really hard with all the guards). I was excited about this visit because several of the painting we talked about in my Art History class were housed here and I was very much looking forward to seeing them in person. Art is always so much more interesting and valuable when you know what’s going on in the painting and the backstory behind it.

So off we go and the first painting we come across is The Marriage of Giovanni Arnolfini and his Bride. Ohhh! I know this piece! I had to write an essay about it in my Art class and here I am actually standing in front of it! This is so exciting! Until I actually try and pay attention to what the Bald man is saying about it. Guess what, he has NO IDEA what he’s saying. He’s making it up as he goes. Saying things like, “oh the shoes in the painting represent that aspects of everyday life are starting to be incorporated into art.” WHAT?! This is wrong. You are so wrong you little man! So naturally, I had to point out this out:

ME: Actually, that’s not why the shoes are there at all.

BALD MAN: Oh really?

ME: Yes. The shoes represent the fact that they’re standing on holy ground. This painting has a lot of symbolism in it. Like the dog, which is supposed to represent fidelity, hence the name Fido given to dogs. Also there’s the broom above the bed which represents the fact that she’s now taking on the womanly domestic duties of the home. And then there’s her ‘belly’ when she probably wasn’t even pregnant. It’s just a sort of warm wish that they will be blessed with children. That’s also why this is being painted in the bedroom. And if you look at the mirror in the background you can see a reflection of someone other than the couple and we don’t know who it is, but I think it’s the painter.

Of course, I could have said more. There was all kinds of stuff I didn’t mention like the bowl of oranges or the single candle lit, but I thought it was best to stop there. The little man didn’t know what to think. He was literally speechless. Ha! Everyone was now looking at this painting a little more closely and the little man starts to read the plaque on the wall next to it, “Oh, it says here that you can see a reflection of a man, perhaps the painter, on the mirror on the wall. How interesting!” Yeah, you see little bald man, I actually know what I’m talking about!! Again, Leanne you’d be so proud. I’m putting my art history knowledge to good use.

So off we went following this guy around the museum the whole time I’m getting more and more fed up that I actually have to stand here listening to someone who I just proved knew nothing about the paintings in this place. One of the guys in our group, Kevin, turned to me and was said, “you should be teaching this class.” Pfft. No, I shouldn’t be Kevin. I don’t know that much about art, I just know what I’ve been taught in one semester in Art History, but it’s good to know that someone else who hasn’t taken any sort of class can tell this man is full of it. I kept trying to leave the group and look at other pieces I learned about last semester but the guy never let me leave. I shouldn’t have said anything because now I was on his radar and he was never going to let me escape. At one point when I was in the adjoining room to where they were, he came over and said to me, “This must be incredibly frustrating for you that you can’t stand here and look at the pieces you want to.” WHAT?! Why on Earth would you say that to me? To rub it in my face that I have to follow you around?! Urgh, you pretentious balding man!! I just wanted to slap him. When we got to painting of the Ambassadors, I simply couldn’t listen to him talk about what he doesn’t know. So instead I stood in the back and filled Kevin and Michelle in on what was really going on in the painting. You know, it’s really a good feeling to a.) know more than your professor and b.) retain information and fill others with wisdomosity. Maybe I’ll take another Art History class next semester…

After another disappointing theatre class which almost put me to sleep, I came home to catch up on some American TV. Weeds, Dexter, Modern Family, come cheer me up! I also spent quite a bit of time researching flights and finally booked my flight to Germany! Wooo. I was invited to go to Ireland with Matt and Laura for Halloween but it turns out it was too late to buy tickets. Flights to Ireland are usually dirt cheep, but apparently traveling anywhere Halloween weekend on short notice costs upwards of £70. Sorry guys, I think I’ll take my chances in London with Jeni, Tom and J.

Love,

A-needs-a-good-Halloween-costume-Devon

Sunday, October 24, 2010

“That’s Ridiculous, You Don’t Even Have a Queen!” – Sarah Wareing

After traveling around all weekend, it felt a bit strange to be expected to wake up and go to work the next day. But what felt wonderful was waking up in my own bed with no one else in the room and getting dressed and ready from clothes in cabinets as opposed to a backpack and having everything else I needed in it’s place. Privacy is something I think I’ve come to appreciate more and more the longer I spend here. As it turns out, it was a very good thing I went to work after all as it was a very eventful day, and all of said events were not work related.

When I get in who do I notice is making toast, but the man from the village, Freelance Ben! (Whose last name I found out is actually Wicks, which explains why everyone calls him “Wicksey”) As we’re chatting and making tea and toast, Josh comes over and is trying to join in on all the ‘still can’t believe you live in/call them villages’ talk.

JOSH: Have you ever heard of a Hamlet?

ME: As in the play…?

JOSH: No, a Hamlet. It’s a small cluster of like 3 or 4 houses that’s too small to be considered a village.

ME: Whatttt? Those are just houses! There’s no such thing as a Hamlet.

JOSH: Yes there is

WICKSEY: A hamlet? I don’t know if I’ve heard of that before either

ME: Ha! See, not real!

JOSH: Yes it is. I’m being genuinely serious.

Pshh. Unfortunately, further google research proves that Josh can sometimes be considered a credible source and there is such a thing as a Hamlet, which is exactly what he says it is. Damn it.

JOSH: So what did you do this weekend? Anything fun?

ME: Yeah actually, I did a bit of travelin.

JOSH: Oh where to? Did you go to Scotland?

ME: No I went to Oxford, Stonehenge and Bath.

JOSH: Are you going to go to Scottland?

ME: No, I don’t think so. I mean I wanted to, but nah.

JOSH: Why not?!

ME: Because I don’t think I have the time nor the funds. Why do you care so much about Scotland anyways?

JOSH: I’m from Scotland.

ME: Na ah! Really? As in you were legit born and lived there?

JOSH: Yes.

ME: Well, then where-

JOSH: Where’s my Scottish accent?

ME: Yeah!

JOSH: I lost it when I went to Uni.

ME: Can you do an accent still? Bring it back!

JOSH: Ugh, well what do you want me to say?

ME: I dunno! Just say something!

Again, turns out Josh wasn’t lying and he could pull off a very soft and subtle accent. Well now this makes more sense about shortbreads being a traditional Scottish dessert and why Josh called them a taste of the ‘homeland’. Ahhhh-ha! So on I went to gather any last bit of ‘interesting information’ to spark TV show ideas before our development meeting today when Paul and Ben announce that we’re having a meeting. Paul is joining our meeting? Along with like half the office? What is going on? So in everyone gathered to the ‘Crisps room’ which was freezing. Josh was the lucky person sitting next to the thermostat and every time someone new walked in they would comment on the cold and then tell Josh that he should put the heat on to which he would reply, ‘I’ve already put it on!’ Haha. It’s the little things I have to cherish.

BEN: So right. Paul and I called this meeting together to kind of regroup and refocus. As most everyone knows, Matt is leaving us-

ME: What?

BEN: *points at me* Oh Devon! You don’t know! You weren’t here! Yeah, Matt is leaving.

Well that explains why Wicksey was sitting at his computer this morning! My first thought was, how sad. I was just starting to get to know Matt. Who’s going to sit by me at my computer desk now? And my second was, how sad. He’s not going to get to hear my Uncle sing More Than a Woman in Johnny 5’s voice now. Too bad Matt. The rest of the meeting was full of all that don’t worry this won’t effect us and we’re going to continue going strong talk! I imagine this had more impact on the people who’ve worked in the office longer than three weeks and were close enough to Matt to have a longer conversation other than “How was your weekend?”

After that meeting, Josh, Wicksey, Super Star Intern Sarah, Dan (who I call Thomas in my head) and I went into another room to talk about Blah Blah Blah, a TV show we’re currently in the midst of developing. Only problem was that we have a problem getting on or staying on topic. Today’s issue was all about the U.S. high school right of passage known as Prom, something they don’t have in England and that the whole group was fascinated with. I have no idea we got on this topic, but the conversation went something like this:

SARAH: Is it true you have Prom Queens? Like someone gets to be Queen?

ME: Oh yeah, you have a whole Prom court. Let’s see there’s Queen and King, Prince and Princess, Duke and Dutchess, Baron and Baroness, ummm… I think there’s one more?

SARAH: That’s ridiculous, you don’t even have a Queen! What do you get if your Queen? Do you win money or something like that?

ME: Oh nah, you get a little sash that says ‘Prom Queen’ and a crown-

JOSH: A crown? Why do they need a crown?

ME: Because they’re a Queen! And usually you get flowers and I dunno, just the title of being Prom Queen. It’s kind of a big deal.

SARAH: We’re you Prom Queen?

ME: hahahahaha! Oh no, I wasn’t popular enough to be Prom Queen!

JOSH: Who was your date?

SARAH: How do you become Queen?

ME: Oh, it’s basically a huge popularity contest but it depends on the school. At my school you just wrote down like the 5 girls you think should be queen and then those get added up and the top five choices of those are your ‘official nominees’ and then you vote again, and the one with the most votes is Queen, the one with the second most is Princess and so on and so forth. But I know other schools do it differently. Like at my friend Karina’s school, it was like the top five girls who raised the most money for some charity or something.

JOSH: Well that’s crap, they could just cheat.

ME: Exactly. It’s really just a popularity contest. But you guys don’t have a Prom or a big ‘end of school right of passage’ or anything like that?

SARAH: We have like an end of the year ball, but it’s really quite crap. Everyone just gets dressed up and gets dunk. We don’t have Queens.

ME: Haha, we’ll it’s more than a just a dance.

JOSH: What else is it? Who did you take to Prom? Who was your date?

ME: Oh god, I don’t want to talk about my Prom. There was so much drama and it just wasn’t fun and-

WICKSEY: Well you can’t say that. Now you have to tell us what happened! Why was there drama?

ME: Ughh *sigh* because there was all this confusion about limos and-

JOSH: Limos?

ME: Oh yeah, well see first you all meet at someone’s house so the parents can take all those embarrassing Prom Pictures of the little couples and guys give the girls corsashes and girls give the guys buteneers. And then you all get in a limo and go out to dinner and then you finally get to the dance. And then after you’re supposed to go back to someone’s house and have a huge after party and that’s where all those ‘Prom stories’ about getting drunk and having sex comes in to play. But see there was all this confusion because two different groups of friends wanted me in their limo and-

JOSH: You just said you weren’t popular!

ME: I wasn’t popular!

JOSH: Well you’re getting invited into limos, that sounds pretty popular to me. But who was your Prom date?

ME: Ughh. I don’t want to talk about this.

JOSH: No come on, who’d you go to Prom with? Was it someone like really embarrassing? Was he like super fat and ugly or something?

ME: No, my Prom date actually went with someone else-

SARAH: Oh gosh, that’s terrible!

WICKSEY: What’s the prick’s name? We’ll look him up!

JOSH: So that’s why you didn’t want to say who your date was! Who is he? Do you still have his number? Call him up! I’ll tell him off!

ME: Oh my god, no! It wasn’t like that at all!

JOSH: You just said this guy went with someone else.

ME: Yes, but-

JOSH: That sounds like a pretty messed up thing to do-

ME: No, you don’t understand. It wasn’t like that. He’s one of my best friends-

WICKSEY: You’re still friends with him? That’s not on.

ME: Ughh, no see, Dan and I are like really good friends and were going to go to Prom together. But he had this crush on this other girl and at the last minute I convinced him to take her instead so I kind of got rid of my own Prom date.

SARAH: Aww, that’s quite nice actually.

ME: Yeah, so don’t be mean. He’s still one of my really good friends. And he’s like a super sweet guy. I don’t have any bad feelings against him at all.

JOSH: He still left you.

ME: Sooo. Any other American questions you have for me? Any other topics I need to set straight?

Oh my gosh, can we say one of the funniest but more cringetastic moments for me? The three of them were seriously leaning in around the board table to hear me talk about something you’d think was the most important thing in the world. And if you’re reading this Dan, I’m sorry it came out this way, I was trying very hard to ignore the question and I have no regrets about how the date situation worked. We eventually got back on topic to talk about the show but broke soon after that for lunch. Enter embarrassing conversation number 2 of the day for me that I also have no recollection of how we got on that topic. In someway or another Ben, Wicksey and Josh were teasing me about something or another (go figure, right?) when Ben asks,

BEN: Are you going to go write this in your diary?

ME: Ew, no I don’t keep a diary.

BEN: No? Not a journal? A blog?

ME: Oh, well I do have a blog, but it’s just about this, you know, being in London. I don’t blog in my everyday life.

BEN: I want to read your blog!

ME: NO!

BEN: Why not?

ME: Because you can’t! It’s all stuff about y’all!

BEN: Well now I have to, can you reach it through Google?

ME: No!!

Yup. THEY FOUND MY BLOG AT WORK. I turned super bright red and tried to hide myself in my scarf. This proved rather unsuccessful on both ends and soon enough, Ben has my blog pulled up on his computer and him and Wicksey start reading it! And of course, what’s the most recent entry on the top of the page, but the one about me going round his house. Greeatt. And then Ben notices the conversation bits and turns to me:

BEN: This is like exactly what happened! Like word for word. That's exactly what I said!

ME: Yeah, I know. That’s kind of the point.

WICKSEY: How do you do that? Are you wired? Are you recording this conversation right now?

ME: No, I just have a really good memory. Please don’t read this!

BEN: *laughing* Oh Devon, this is fantastic! How do I bookmark this?

ME: Oh god, no!

Too late. All too soon it’s pulled up on at least three people’s computers and they’re reading all of my thoughts on them. I was so embarrassed and it took me a good five minutes to calm down. Oh god, well might as well embrace it.

BEN: Devon, who reads this?

ME: Oh I don’t know exactly, people back home. I know my mom, and my sister, and a few of my friends and my boss and stuff do.

BEN: Haha, oi look Josh, look, you’re in here too!

JOSH: I didn’t say that! *talking about calling President Bush a twat*

ME: Oh yes you did! I remember that conversation almost exactly! But don’t worry Josh, you’re like everyone’s favorite. I was telling my mom and my sister about the piñata story this weekend and they thought it was hilarious!

JOSH: So your family thinks I’m stupid now?

ME: No, not at all. But it was really funny. They couldn’t stop laughing. You just don’t get it. You’re not from San Antonio, ok?

Oh the piñata story. So last week, one of the girls on the Production team was in the kitchen talking about how she’s having her boyfriend round for dinner at her parents house when Josh accused her of never being invited for dinner at her parent’s house when I just had to intervene. The conversation went something like this *flashback mode*

ME: Josh, are you just inviting yourself over to people’s houses for dinner now?

JOSH: Yes. Devon, how come you’ve never invited me for dinner with your family?

ME: You know what Josh? The second you show up to Texas, you are more than welcome to come have dinner with my family. Although, it probably won’t be like a real ‘traditional Texas’ dinner or anything. Unless we BBQ or something.

JOSH: Great. I’ll bring the piñata.

ME: What? Why are you bringing a piñata?

JOSH: Well, you’re Mexican right?

ME: Yeah, but-

JOSH: You’ve had a piñata before, right?

ME: Yeah, at my 6th birthday, but-

JOSH: Well, there you go. A piñata. Makes sense.

No Josh, it doesn’t. He was so cavalier and calm about the whole thing and so certain that he was doing the proper thing and that it all made sense. I tried to explain that you don’t bring piñatas for dinner. They’re usually for children at birthday parties, but I don’t think he really got it.

I ended up staying an extra hour at work today so I could actually attend the development meeting in the afternoon. When I left, Wicksey asked me if I was going home to transcribe this whole conversation. I would say ‘No Wicksey, I’m not!’ But it turns out I kinda did. And if any of you chums at work are actually still reading this well then, good for you! I don’t know why you would other than to see how you’re being portrayed by me because I certainly can’t change my format up now. Your comments just bring humor to too many other people back home and all of you have ‘fans’. Feel loved and admired and not made fun of please.

On I went to my film class where we talked about our upcoming paper due next week. As I sat down and started thinking about what I had to do that night, I realized that tonight was the night I had to leave early to go to the ballet! I honestly don’t know how I remembered that one, especially since I forgot my planner at home, but all I can say is thank the Lord for my wonderful memory and please please please don’t let me get Alzheimer's when I get old! So Chloe and I left at break (she couldn’t concentrate) and I headed off to the Royal Opera House. I had to come back through the Baker Street stop to switch lines, and who should I see there but Liam! The giant sheepdog and his owner were getting sandwiches! I had this huge goofy smile on my face and I don’t know if the owner recognized me as the girl who took pictures of his dog, but I so wanted to just wrap my arms around the dog and say “Liam!!!!” Instead I just smiled like a loon at them and the owner smiled back. When I got off the tube at Covent Garden there weren’t stairs that lead to the street, just lifts. In retrospect, this should have been a sign! But what did I do? I thought, pfft, why would I take a lift, that’s lazy. Oh look, stairs. Yeah never ending spiral stairs. Turns out the Underground is really far underground and I ended up climbing 195 stairs to reach the street. I know this because there's a sign at the top of the stairs when you reach the street that tells you this. They should really put that sign on the BOTTOM of the staircase rather than the TOP. But oh well, good for the legs, right?

The ballet was lonnng. I don’t think I got home till after 11. It was one of the performances we’re required to see for our theatre class and Jeni and I had pretty crappy seats. The theatre itself was probably the prettiest theatre I’ve been in ever, but wouldn’t you know it, I left my camera on my desk that morning after putting it on the charger after my trip. Damn. No pictures this time. The whole thing did make me want to start dancing again. Maybe I’ll take that ballet class again next Spring. It was fun, and this time I’ll have some idea what I’m doing. Who knows Caroline, I may just be Prima again! Haha

Love,

I-really-hope-no-one-at-work-is-still-reading-this-Devon